Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Merit Ferrets and Insight Trilobites

My first two years of teaching were characterized by copious amounts of tears.  I cried a lot--often founded, sometimes not.  I was a cry baby.  I've often stated that I think I cried more in my first year of teaching than in all the previous years combined.  This may be hyperbole, but, then again, this blog is non-fiction and thems may just be the facts. Of course, it wasn't only the job that was to blame; it was also a year when I learned more than I ever hoped about the pitfalls of falling in love with the wrong guy. However, falling out of love with a dude opened up some prime heart acreage for my students and being in love with my kids helped me to be in love with my job...but left little room to love anything else.

Last year was not characterized by tears but by a general discontent that is most aptly termed "burn out". I was a horrible and sour version of myself. Blogging, along with calling a psychic and traveling to Europe solo, were all "cheer the fuck up" schemes.  I think the trip to Italy worked, but that might also have been a product of the fact that the school year was actually over.  But while licking on many cones of gelato and sipping on even more classes of wine and running a few laps around the rampart walls of Lucca, I got to figuring.  I didn't necessarily need a new job so much as I needed a new perspective.  Sustaining another year in a misery coma was not possible. I know, this is all very Eat, Pray, Love of me (minus any of the love), but, again, this is a matter-of-fact account of my life, and I must admit (reserve your judgments) that I read that giant of chick lit memoirs whilst on my journey and it may have even made me cry once...or twice. So, my new perspective boiled down to this: start planning ahead while not forgetting to enjoy where you are.

This is short and sweet, but it appears to be working.  The biggest flaw in my philosophy so far has been choosing a future plan, business school, that relies on math heavy entrance exams. Damn that GMAT.  I took it last Saturday and it bent me over. In turn, I maintained my enjoyment of where I was on Saturday night by partying like a frat-house pledge.  At school, I have been appreciating the day-to-day details that I forgot about last year.  Silly drawings on my white board, for example.  First my classroom was overseen by the reading bear.  However, the reading bear lost his life in a tragic white-board white-out, but he is survived by the critical thinking koala, the insight trilobite, the think skink, and the merit ferret. This year is happily characterized by random funny moments.

In other realms appreciating the present, I spent some serious time in my closet tonight.  All this studying forced me to neglect my clothes!  I had nearly forgotten how many, many options I still have with all the things I already own!  Perhaps a creativity ramp up next week.
I was out sick