Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Blogoo goo ga ga

The lack of gushing in my life was beginning to make me worry.  I have reached a life stage where its not unusual to find myself in scenarios surrounded by babies, and, for the most part, oohing and aahing over these strange people appeals to me not at all. As a female of a certain age, it seems an expectation that you should just love to get your hands all over a baby smelling baby with baby soft baby skin, but you may as well be handing me a cactus.  I especially hate when I have to feign maternnalness about the ugly ones--you all know there's some ugly ones.  So, when my best friend since kindergarten popped out her first child, I was thrilled and panicked all at once. Despite my frigidity around the babies, I am not so obtuse as to demean the monumentalness of welcoming a child to a young family. This baby was born on the other side of the country and (obviously) is not one of the ugly ones.  Clearly no one was asking me to hold the little blob, so why the panic?  Well, I had to buy this baby a gift. 

I've learned that one does not have to be married (or even particularly good at interacting with the opposite sex) to buy a good wedding gift. So, it should follow that one does not have to be a mother to buy a good baby gift.  However, I was completely useless. One might imagine that shopping would not be on a list of my areas for improvement, but when it came time to buy something for a baby, I may as well have been Snooki on a mission to buy something classy.  I looked at onesies and mobiles and plush animals and not a single thing made me gush.  Nothing aroused those deep down maternal instincts until...
The Patagonia baby puff ball jacket.  This is possibly the cutest thing ever. Cute enough for an "accident" with an unsuspecting male?  I don't know about that... But I want to thank the folks at Patagonia for restoring my faith in my procreative talents and the possibility of maternal gushiness. I might even say that I could love even the ugly ones if it were bundled up in one of these.  


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